CRAZY LEGS (Photo by Adrian Fletcher) Crazy Legs was born into the most stark, flat, desolate and wholesome prairie in all of middle Minnesota. She was teased mercilessly by dough-faced, corn-fed white boys who started the rumor that she smelled like pickled herring (she HATED pickled herring) and clowned her for being a tomboy while other little girls played imaginary tea parties with their dolls. Despite her abhorrence for rumors and tea parties, she excelled in gymnastics, crazy dancing, rock and roll and, most notably, cycling. She lived just fine, until story took a dark turn. Like so many gringos and gringas before her, Crazy Legs flees for Mexico by bike after an entirely justifiable, but clumsy throttling of a pasty cowboy who called her a South Canadian. Osea, Minnesota!!! Tired from her 1000+ mile bike journey across the desert and her stealthy evasion of the border guards, Crazy Legs parks her beloved bike outside a cantina. Hours later, after chowing on taco after taco, she meets her match in the form of a spicy ghost pepper. Unable to breathe, she stumbles to her bike only to find an evil luchadora stealing her ride. She tries to throttle her like she did the pasty cowboy who called her a South Canadian, but the luchadora’s skills are too strong and Crazy Legs finds herself at the mercy of the luchadora’s signature wrestling move: “El Taco Royal.” Despite feeling bruised and ticked off, Crazy Legs finds that she kind of liked wrestling. At that moment, from the shadows, a mysterious luchador appears. Mothers grab their children and run for shelter, dogs yelp as if kicked, the sheriff flips his sign to read “Nos vemos en cinco minutos.” Everywhere there is the fear-stained whisper “Las Siete Estrellas!!!!” “Crazy Legs! You fight well for someone raised on tatertot hotdish, mayonnaise on Wonderbread and lefse! I am Las Siete Estrallas! And I will teach you the ways of lucha libre!” With her unhinged mentor in tow, Crazy Legs prowls the lucha libre circuit looking for her bicycle and a big steaming pile of revenge on the luchadora who took it. Her ferocity in the ring is only matched by the ferocity of her crazy dancing. Any poor soul who admits to cutting off bikers or really ticking her off receives the dreaded move: the banana split also known as “el platano violento”. To know her is to fear her: Crazy Legs Crazy Legs is a reigning champion of LUCHADORAS 1. She is sponsored by Seven Stars Cycles. 

CRAZY LEGS

(Photo by Adrian Fletcher)

Crazy Legs was born into the most stark, flat, desolate and wholesome prairie in all of middle Minnesota. She was teased mercilessly by dough-faced, corn-fed white boys who started the rumor that she smelled like pickled herring (she HATED pickled herring) and clowned her for being a tomboy while other little girls played imaginary tea parties with their dolls. Despite her abhorrence for rumors and tea parties, she excelled in gymnastics, crazy dancing, rock and roll and, most notably, cycling.

She lived just fine, until story took a dark turn. Like so many gringos and gringas before her, Crazy Legs flees for Mexico by bike after an entirely justifiable, but clumsy throttling of a pasty cowboy who called her a South Canadian. Osea, Minnesota!!!

Tired from her 1000+ mile bike journey across the desert and her stealthy evasion of the border guards, Crazy Legs parks her beloved bike outside a cantina. Hours later, after chowing on taco after taco, she meets her match in the form of a spicy ghost pepper. Unable to breathe, she stumbles to her bike only to find an evil luchadora stealing her ride. She tries to throttle her like she did the pasty cowboy who called her a South Canadian, but the luchadora’s skills are too strong and Crazy Legs finds herself at the mercy of the luchadora’s signature wrestling move: “El Taco Royal.”

Despite feeling bruised and ticked off, Crazy Legs finds that she kind of liked wrestling. At that moment, from the shadows, a mysterious luchador appears. Mothers grab their children and run for shelter, dogs yelp as if kicked, the sheriff flips his sign to read “Nos vemos en cinco minutos.” Everywhere there is the fear-stained whisper “Las Siete Estrellas!!!!”

“Crazy Legs! You fight well for someone raised on tatertot hotdish, mayonnaise on Wonderbread and lefse! I am Las Siete Estrallas! And I will teach you the ways of lucha libre!”

With her unhinged mentor in tow, Crazy Legs prowls the lucha libre circuit looking for her bicycle and a big steaming pile of revenge on the luchadora who took it. Her ferocity in the ring is only matched by the ferocity of her crazy dancing. Any poor soul who admits to cutting off bikers or really ticking her off receives the dreaded move: the banana split also known as “el platano violento”.

To know her is to fear her: Crazy Legs

Crazy Legs is a reigning champion of LUCHADORAS 1. She is sponsored by Seven Stars Cycles. 

4 months ago